Once in the doctor's office I mentioned that B is not talking. At all. Well, in the last week he has started to say, "no" and "yeah", but interchangeably; I think they're just sounds to him, he doesn't seem to know what they mean. To me that's not "talking". He does not name things, although I have at least taught him where his nose is and his belly is, and most of the time he can point these out. He presents his feet when I ask him if it's time to put his shoes on, and seems to understand quite a bit, just hasn't taken that leap to actually saying words. The pediatrician said to work with him and if things are the same in two to three months, have him evaluated. Which was pretty much what I had been thinking - I'm not too concerned at the moment, but don't want to be neglectful, either. In my heart I feel like he's working up to it and will get there - but we'll see. A lot of it might very well be his environment, ie, me. A friend of mine pointed out that since I don't live with another adult, he doesn't hear conversation very often, at least not as much as a baby who lives with two or more people. Also, I'm very much in the habit of speaking for him (as in, asking him a question and then answering it), or just not expecting him to understand or be capable of things he can probably do, like get me things when asked or put things away. I need to start treating him like a child, not a baby, and have the expectation that he is capable. So I have been asking him questions and waiting for an answer, and if he does answer yes or no, following through with that so he understands what happens when he says yes or no. I know this may sound very obvious to some of you, but for me it's just a question of breaking old habits. For so long he's just been a little baby who had to bend to my will - now we're having lunch, take this drink, put these clothes on. Now I need to start presenting choices and listening to his opinion. It's a whole new world.
Also at the doctor's office I sheepishly admitted that no, I have not been feeding him at least two portions of red meat a week. The doctor said in that case he'd like to do a blood draw for iron levels, which I agreed to because I figured I should have that information, too, to make sure our diet isn't harming him. Well, I didn't realize just how brutal drawing blood from a toddler would be. It was that newborn heel prick thing all over again - holding down your screaming child for probably 10-15 minutes while a nurse digs mercilessly in one arm, then another, with a needle. It was awful. And as of right now I have some results but not the iron levels. I don't know how long it'll take but I'm dreading the results. More guilt headed my way I'm sure.
I took myself off the B6 and Unisom regimen a couple of nights ago to see if I could stop now. I think I might continue a little longer. I've been waking up drenched in sweat and then freezing cold to the point of teeth chattering all night both nights, and today have been pretty nauseated. Back on the drugs.
I'm so pleased I don't have another Kaiser appointment until end of October. I can't shake the feeling that these are the salad days - those weeks pre-week 20, before all the problems start happening. The gestational diabetes, the swelling, the protein in the urine, the searing heartburn, the insomnia, the general discomfort and incapacity. I keep thinking of Bed Rest friend who was under the impression that she was having the perfect, healthy pregnancy until her 20 week check up where they discovered he cervix had shortened dramatically and she was then and there put on hospital bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy. Things can turn on a dime like that so easily. As with everything you just have to cross your fingers and hope it doesn't happen to you. I'm somewhat bolstered by the fact that at sixteen weeks everything still looks good for me...but they did last time, too, so that kind of means nothing. Ugh.
In other news, Mom Guru gave me several numbers for doulas. I'm excited to get to interviewing some of these ladies. I think settling on one will do a lot to ease my general anxiety.