I have been trying to ask B questions in the hope that he'll answer yeah or no - but he doesn't seem to get it. I know this might end up being a lengthy process, encouraging B to talk. Somehow I don't think our parents or grandparents ever did this. But what do I know? Maybe they did.
Despite not having the balls to pull the trigger and start the room renovation, I have been making lots of plans for B's room. I want to refinish the rusted Radio Flyer a friend gave me for Christmas and put books in it; I also impulsively bought a cheap toy chest on eBay so there's somewhere to put his "downstairs toys". I don't know if he'll even like being in that room - what if he just screams to get out?? What if he hates sleeping in there? What if I did all of this for nothing?
Well, it won't be for nothing, because at least eventually he will like his own room. And I know that it's good for him to be out of my room whether he knows it or not. Something tells me as long as he has toys he'll be totally fine. He may even be just old enough to really enjoy a space that's all his.
There was a thread today on my WTE board of second timers having anxiety about giving birth again. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I have this distinct memory of walking the dog heavily pregnant and thinking how much harder it would be to be going for it a second time, knowing what to expect, rather than being a first timer and being able to convince yourself that it won't be that bad, that it'll probably be quicker and easier than you think. And here I am. And I do have a great deal of anxiety about the birth as I've endlessly written about. I wish I could get zen about it and feel positive - I mean, I have no reason to think I'll have a bad experience and every reason to think it'll be quicker/easier this time. Maybe as I get closer it'll be easier to calm my mind and get a positive mantra going. Right now, though, I'm really struggling.
Here is a picture of the toy chest I bought: