Friday, September 20, 2013

15 weeks

I've been a bit chastened by the news of a fellow blogger losing her twin boys at 20 weeks, a few years (and a lot of struggles) after losing a baby boy at the same point in the pregnancy. I could say how lucky I feel to have a healthy child and another on the way - and I do. I never take either of them for granted, believe me. But it doesn't feel right to say that right now, so I will just say what we all know is true - that life totally sucks sometimes, and some people just can't seem to catch a fucking break. And I hate it and it's so unfair. And one of the main disadvantages of being an atheist at times like this is there's no comfort - all you can do is offer condolences to the person suffering and try to chase away fears that you might have that experience, too. Sometimes faith in a bigger plan or some kind of reward after we die would feel really good, you know? Reality is a bitch. 

So, on that upbeat note, I was asked to post my pickle recipe. I'm a little reluctant to because I tried one a few nights ago and they're not that great. I think I overcooked them. They are very limp and not crunchy and taste kind of "old", like that last pickle swimming in questionable liquid at the back of your grandmother's fridge. Perhaps if I didn't do the hot water bath at all and just let them soak in the brine, or did it a few minutes less. I'll figure it out. 

In other news, I couldn't be more relieved that our heat wave is over. I used to love the heat...but now it's just a huge pain in the ass. It means hot, cranky kid, limited options as far as activities, and hundreds in A/C bills. Personally I'm psyched to get started with the festive season - fires in the fireplace, baking, Halloween, soups for lunch, Christmas decorating. 

I feel decent. I may even be experiencing some early flutters - that sudden "kick" feeling that is nothing like digestive movement. That was always my favorite thing about pregnancy, the movement part. Still checking the heartbeat every day. It's easy to find at this stage. I am eager to make a big announcement but still need to wait until I can tell my bandleader & his wife, and I won't see them for two more weeks - and then it's just ten days until the gender scan, so I may just wait until I have all of the information. It will be fun to announce the baby by name, you know?

1 comment:

  1. I sometimes feel a bit jealous of those who find comfort in a simplistic "God" being. It is nice that they have that... but I have to seek comfort in other ideas.