Saturday, August 10, 2013

Leaking the information

I have begun slowly telling people about the pregnancy, as I see them. Sure, there's still that fear that something will go wrong and I'll have to endure months of back pedaling ("no, the baby didn't make it"), but I figure the people I've told are just the people I would turn to for a shoulder to cry on under those circumstances anyway, so why not? I mean, here we are, headed towards ten weeks. If anything were to happen at this late date, it would be really horrible - a really awful, heartbreaking tragedy. It's not stupid for me to assume everything will be ok at this point. So, let's cross our fingers that nothing like that happens, shall we?

Although I will say, of the majority of people I've told recently, the first words out of their mouths have in fact been, "but you said you weren't having any more!" Which is extremely irritating. But I guess I have only myself to blame for so loudly pronouncing my one child policy. 

I have a genetics appointment Monday - it is probably just to fill out paperwork, but I'm really hoping we can get one of those early tests started or at least scheduled. Now is the window so it kind of has to happen in the next week or so. I have two more appointments in the next couple of weeks, too. Lots of appointments in the beginning, then very few in the middle, then a lot at the end. 

I won't lie, I'm scared of the end of the pregnancy. Luckily it will be a good time of year for me - not much work, and cool weather - but I think life is going to get really, really hard with no help. B will be nearly two and who knows where he'll be at developmentally at that point; I'll be huge and uncomfortable and possibly not feeling well, and no doubt just due to my age I'll be tortured with twice weekly NSTs again, which I don't think I can take B to, so that should be interesting. Then there's birth stuff. Will I be stuck making the agonizing decision whether or not to induce again? What if I go way over my due date? What if I'm stuck in the hospital for days or weeks? What on earth will I do with Bumpus? 

I have a couple I know who I may ask to take B for me - the mom stays home with their similar aged son and the dad has a flexible schedule; I think I can trust them to care for B for a few days if need be, and I think I know them well enough that they'd be willing to come pick him up at 4 am. How do you ever repay someone for doing something like that for you? 

Well, we're off to play at a "splash pad" downtown. It's pretty awesome - B runs around screaming and has a blast, which makes me very happy. Then tonight I go dancing, which makes me happy as well.


  1. FWIW, I am finding age 2 to be quite a bit easier than, say, 18 months. Even if there is rebelllion or tantrums or hitting or whatever, they are a bit more reasonable and certainly more capable of communicating their needs and wants... and also of reasoning.

    Not to say that it won't be challenging when you bring the baby home, but I think the end of pregnancy won't be as bad as you fear from the perspective of Bumpus. But I haven't been there, so that's just my guess.

    Sorry people haven't been more excited for you... that must be disappointing.

  2. I agree re telling people - I had told a few people about the baby that I miscarried and I am pleased I did as I had people who understood. To me it was a baby by the time I lost it so I had to grieve. I think people are nervous when you tell them, like they feel you shouldn't have said anything. I had that too, but to me it's crazy that we have a culture of not talking about it.

    Fingers crossed for the next two weeks, and then for the next 30!

  3. Such an exciting time! Don't stress yet about what'll happen in 6+ months. It'll all work out. Just take a day at a time right now.