Monday, June 24, 2013

Hell is Others, part XVIII

Yeah, it's only 2 PM and it's already been "one of those days". Sometimes I just hate people, you know? Or maybe it's just situations that I hate. I'm having two of them right now.

One of them is with a friend I see occasionally who has a baby about two months older than B. The last few times we've gotten together have not been good. Her kid is really aggressive - mainly likes to grab food out of B's hands and throws things - hard - right at B's head. Today he even threw a rock at him! The mother wasn't oblivious and was obviously mortified, but she can't get him to stop, either. And this time B was really fed up. Every time the kid came near him he would just scream at the top of his lungs. He was so obviously not enjoying himself that I made a quick exit and am now safely ensconced in the peace and order of our own home. Now I have to figure out how to be conveniently busy every time she wants to hang out. Sigh. 

THEN on my way home I get this email from my erstwhile father. A couple of weeks ago he sent me a package. It was two hideous polyester polo shirts and three baseball caps with his horse ranch logo on them, and a little Brazilian soccer uniform for B (that will probably fit him in about three years). I wrote him an email thanking him for the package and saying I'll send him a pic of Bobby in the outfit. 

Well! I get an email from him today saying "as usual" I didn't even mention the polo shirts and baseball caps and if I don't like them I should just give them away. Then passive-aggressively mentions a picture I have on Facebook of B in his playpen and how he thinks it looks too small for him. Umm...what the fuck?

I felt this intense rage welling up in me after reading that. It's a rage only abused or neglected children feel - a rage that goes down so deep, I don't think you could find the bottom if you tried. It's a rage that makes me almost murder a cop when he pulls me over and gets all condescending and gives me a ticket, or quit a job immediately after being "reprimanded" for some stupid infraction I didn't even know was an infraction. It's a rage that makes me, right now, want to scream in his face, "YOU abandoned me and disappeared almost my entire childhood. Who the fuck do you think you are telling me anything?!?"

So. I'm going to let him HAVE IT. I also may unfriend and block him on Facebook. I just don't feel like I have any privacy anymore with him commenting on all my pictures and seeing everything I'm doing. I just don't like it. And if he goes off on a pout for years and doesn't talk to me, so be it. I'm always happier when I don't have to deal with him and his personality disorder anyway. 

So yeah, thank God for crazy parents who don't live in the same country, huh? I recently had thoughts of taking the kid(s) to Brazil someday to meet him but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen now. There's a reason why this entire side of the family always hated him. It's because he's kind of a jerk.

And now I'm going to eat this, because it is awesome. 


  1. I'm sorry. That stinks. You deserve(d) so much better. And you are going to do, ARE doing, a million times better by your son.

  2. Maybe take a moment and decide if you'd be better off just silently unfriending him and blocking his emails. We have a crazy aunt who does the same crap, and there is absolutely no point trying to engage her, or tell her off. It can be incredibly empowering to just quietly walk away from a situation and not look back...

    Sorry you have to deal with that. I know the deep rage you describe very well. I always pictured (more like fantasized about) taking a baseball bat to all the windows in my mom's house, but my dad lives there too and I wouldn't want to do that to him.

  3. Ugh...all this on top of TWW stress! I nominated you for an annoying...yet fun to do blog award to occupy your brain while obsessing over the TWW, lol...