Friday, May 24, 2013

Yours, mine & ours

So I think B is starting to learn the concept of "mine" vs. "yours". He is also learning the concept of sharing, as far as "I don't want to share". For a while now when we're up in the playroom he's done this thing where he'll follow me around the room and touch all of the toys I've just touched, or come over and take things out of my hands. At first I thought, "aw, cute, he wants to play and be like mommy." But yesterday it dawned on me that no, it's not cute. He's asserting his dominance, basically saying "no, mine!" without actually saying it. Never mind that I bought him all these toys so they're technically mine. But I digress.

That was disturbing to me. It was also disturbing to me when at the park yesterday he was standing holding on to the stroller and another baby came by and was holding it, too, and he started pushing her hands away. In the moment I thought, "you could correct him, but he's too young to get it, so why bother?" I kind of sheepishly looked at the mother who sheepishly looked at me and murmured something to her baby about "that's not ours" and took him/her away. I have to say it's not pleasant seeing your sweet little baby behaving like kind of a jerk. 

Later I put it out to my mommy group on FB about when to teach about sharing and everyone said there's no time like the present, so I will start now. I don't want to jump down the kid's throat every time he exhibits an unpleasant but perfectly normal aspect of toddler behavior, but my friends are right - there's nothing wrong with saying, "it's ok, everyone can play" and if he throws a fit, looking at the horrified mother and saying, "we're trying to learn to share." I can do that. I so wish he were of an age where I can sit down and explain things to him, but that's a ways off yet. What he needs is group dynamics. If only I could afford preschool! Agh.

In other news I'm becoming a bit worried about our Miami trip in July, mainly having to do with food. He's used to a hot breakfast as soon as he wakes up at six. How am I going to do this in a hotel...? I can call and see if I can get a room with a fridge so he can at least have milk, but I am concerned about mornings - even if there's a restaurant where I could get him a plate of scrambled eggs and a blueberry muffin like at home, it's a long trek between waking up groggy at 6 am, showering, dressing, getting us both in the rental car,  getting to a restaurant, being seated, ordering, and eating. I'm now questioning how smart booking a hotel room actually was. I should have tried to find one with a kitchen. Maybe I should buy some of those non-refrigerated toddler meals, at least just for the mornings...? Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!

Been waiting with bated breath for my prolactin results. Normally they get emailed to me the night of the test. What's the hold up? And I don't know what to do if I do get a high result - I mean, as far as I know there's nothing I can do to lower it; it just has to come down on its own. Any period I may get should show up about the middle of next week. Now's just the waiting game. The Kaiser midwife said I really should wait a few cycles to get my body back in gear - but she understands I don't have that kind of time. The clinic said the same thing. If only it were October now and I had to wait until March anyway, it would be ideal! But it's not. So, here we are. 

Speaking of midwives & such, I've been thinking when and if the time comes what I really should do is enlist a good doula rather than hiring a full-on midwife that would be a lot more expensive and a bit pointless considering I kind of have to do everything through Kaiser anyway. To go to two prenatal appointments and double up on everything sounds very unpleasant to me. After all, I don't object to the care at Kaiser; it's the billing that makes me nuts. And last time I kind of fell through the cracks because this midwife got jury duty for six weeks and I just got assigned to someone else (who was fine, btw). So. Let's think good things and assume I can labor non-induced and nobody ends up in the NICU and I can go home after a day and I don't end up spending five figures on this (potential) birth. How about that?


  1. Most hotels have those room service cards that you can hang on your door the night before to order breakfast to be delivered at the time of your choosing...crazy expensive, but it's a lifesaver with a toddler! The hotel probably can provide a mini-fridge but, if not, I would either bring or buy there some shelf-stable Horizon milk boxes. No fridge required, and you could just cool them down in an ice bucket as needed before drinking.

  2. We recently stayed in a hotel that had a free breakfast. it wasn't anything fancy. We did get dressed and all that before going out of the room, but I discovered that few people were up that early, and the two that were didn't get all that "fixed" up before leaving their room.

  3. I stayed in a hotel last year with free breakfast, and people basically rolled out of bed and into the lobby to eat. It was funny and a little surprising.

    How many days will you be there? You could make some of your muffins and they'd keep just fine.

    About the sharing, my nephew is 17 months and in the same stage as B. After he takes a toy or hogs something, we say, "Can Felix hold the bucket? Thank yooouuuu!" While gently helping him share. The presumptive praise usually encourages him to hand it over, then he looks at us with a big, proud smile for having pleased us.

  4. What about baby cereal that you just add hot water? I'm sure they'd have a kettle or you could bring a small electric one. I like the idea of some I your muffins. Maybe start transitioning B to these type of breakfasts as the trip gets closer so he's use to it. You could also do applesauce cups...

    We're having an issue with sharing, totally age appropriate but still. Plus E gets upset if a kid doesn't play with a toy the way it's "supposed" to be played with...meaning not they way she thinks it should be played with. It's somewhat amusing to see but I know I need to nip it in the bud.