I haven't written much lately because most of the time I kind of feel like poop. I'm not sure what's causing it - apart from the normal mommy exhaustion and worries, everything is fine. And Bumpus is really ok, too. He's a delight most of the time. But mom feels like crap. It may very well be hormonal so I am just trying to keep my head up and coast through it. Like everything else these days, it's just a phase...right?
I got it into my head that if B had his own room we would both sleep better and I wouldn't have to go through this up at 6-make scrambled eggs-feed baby-go back to bed rigmarole every morning; I notice when he wakes up he tends to play around for about a half hour or so (providing I don't move an inch). If he had his own room I could sneak toys into his crib at night so he could wake up and play, and then when he was really over it we could both just get up together. This sounds nice, but I'm not convinced this is entirely true - and I'm not about to spend thousands on putting the walls back on that room only to discover I'm not sleeping any later than when he was next to my bed. I'll do it if there's another baby on board - or if I know for sure there'll never be another baby. But now's not the time. So, 6 am it is, then back to bed a half hour later for another couple of hours, then I stumble around incoherently for about a half hour while B eats his breakfast muffins. I'm glad I can no longer consider myself sleep deprived - this is definitely a step up from my "every two hour nipple mangling" episode. But I still feel pretty lousy when I wake up. Join the club, right?
Speaking of hormonal, finally got a frigging answer about my prolactin levels. After hounding the Kaiser midwife for the results (which sure enough had been forgotten about and never forwarded to me), she said it "looked normal", which is meaningless, so I asked for a number - remember, the clinic doesn't want me taking and period or ovulation-inducing drugs without a good number. She finally coughed it up - 8.3, yippee! It's so odd to think it was in the high 20s when I first had it checked two years ago. Under 20 is good for ovulation. But - still no period. Which is frustrating as hell and contributing to my foul mood. At least now there's a plan, though - call the clinic Monday and see if they'll put me on Provera to get this party started. Not sure if I can try after that or if I have to wait until I cycle naturally anyway...but I guess I'll find out. It has to happen eventually, right?