So again, if no period shows, what do I do? Try to take Provera? Should I start Vitex instead now that B is weaned? I'm not sure where to go from here. Just keep waiting? Ugh!
Lately I've been in a bit of a panic about my event which is just three months away. It is my other baby, and I have been seriously neglecting it. Tonight for the first time in ages I spent some quality time with my website doing tons of updates; it took three agonizing hours fixing all the information and correcting old mistakes. I just don't have the mental energy for this stuff anymore, and I'm worried. Why was this so much easier when I had a newborn...? I don't remember this problem last year. I simply cannot motivate myself to get any work done. And there is so much to be done - I'm so behind on so many things, and have completely let the ball drop as far as the relentless pushing and advertising I should be doing this time of year. Every night I put B to bed at 7, then make dinner, eat it, and clean up the kitchen, and by the time all of this is done I have two hours left before bedtime and I just want to zone out in front of the TV. Firing up my buggy computer and doing a bunch of highly detailed ad writing and web design work is the last thing I have energy for. You would think the evenings are ideal to finally get some work done since my days are completely occupied by B, but I'm finding the opposite is true.
I have a list of "goals for the month" that I keep on my phone - and I'm ashamed to say my "goals for April" have now all become "goals for June". I just keep putting things off and putting them off in favor of things that absolutely must get done - cooking for B, laundry, ordering diapers, making sure he gets to run around outside every day, making sure I have babysitters when needed, keeping the house clean and organized. Anything beyond that just doesn't seem important enough to deal with right now.
It is hard to do it all - being the sole breadwinner and homemaker. These jobs weren't designed to run concurrently, yet so many women married or single find themselves in this position. For me it's not that I don't have the time to do these things - I just don't have the mental energy.
But I'm going to have to get the mental energy, because my event is coming up, and fast. And if I screw this one up I will jeopardize my entire financial future. So, as always, I just have to pull myself up, smack each cheek to get the blood flowing, and make it happen. Show time!!!