That's how hot it is here today. It is also phenomenally dry, so there's tons of wild fires, in particular on the way to my gig tonight. The drive time is already 2 hrs 15 minutes; as it is I only have 1 hr 15 minutes to get there because the sitter's going to be so late. And the person in charge tonight is SUPER uptight and weird and I know is going to be a pain in the ass about me missing the whole first set. Add that to getting home at 3 am and then being dragged out of bed at 6, and the whole thing is just a huge shit storm.
This morning I woke up with angry boobs and an angry baby demanding said boobs. This whole weaning thing is not going as smoothly as I'd hoped. I don't know how I'm going to get B to be content sitting in the playpen for hours while I try to sleep without a good long breastfeed first. Now he won't even let me pick him up without it - he just screams and kicks and pushes away from me; and I can forget about trying to change his sopping overnight diaper in this state. He's only content to hang out in the playpen when he's already content. So, do I sacrifice sleep to wean? And what the heck do I do with him at 6 am anyway? Ugh! If only I could get pregnant while still breastfeeding just once a day - but I don't think that's in the cards for me.
Well, for now it's just too overwhelming. I'm going to take it one day at a time. Tomorrow morning I'm going to feed him because I will desperately need my sleep. After that I can make a new plan - maybe every other day, as the nurse practitioner suggested. And if I absolutely have to delay my TTC plans a month or two, well, so be it. I have to be open to all options.
One unpleasant reality I discovered today is that in this kind of heat, two of my options to entertain B are out - my Silverlake walk, and the playroom. It's an absolute oven up there (I'm actually a little worried about the toys melting), and the walk would just plain be unsafe. So, more shifting of routines as the summer comes on...I'll need to find warm weather activities for us. Thankfully I have a/c but it is so insanely expensive to run that I try to avoid it.
B is extremely fussy and cranky today. That makes two of us, kid!