Friday, April 19, 2013

Super bitchtastic

This morning I had a concept for another super bitchy blog post. But it's been such an enjoyable day and right now is so pleasant that it's hard to recall the level of irritation I had at seven this morning. This is how days tend to go around here. Mornings are brutal. Afternoons are lovely and evenings are pleasant. A far cry from the evening torment I used to experience when B would fuss and fuss and mangle my nipples. Remember that?

So I inched his bedtime back to 7:30 over the last couple of nights in an effort to get him to sleep longer. No effect. He's always up by 6 to 6:30. I suppose I could keep putting him to bed at 7:30 to see if he sleeps longer...but honestly I don't see a baby who always sleeps 10-11 hours suddenly sleeping 14 hours, which is what I'd like. So I may stick with 8 pm for now. That gives me time to get a proper dinner in him and a bath and I know he's actually tired. Anything before 8 he screams until 8 anyway. I don't know. I wonder if I put him to bed at nine, would he sleep until 7 or 8 or would he just be "overtired"? I just wish I was a morning person. I hate these early mornings with the heat of a thousand suns.

I went to my mommy & me meetup today and was pleased to see that I am not the only one not thrilled with the new eating situation. Sometimes I feel like a monster for how much I don't enjoy mealtimes. But luckily I am not the only one. I think it's fair to say that in fact I fucking hate it.

It's just a mess, time consuming, and utterly frustrating. B has a habit of shaking his head, furrowing his brow, and/or turning away or putting his face flat on his tray every time I offer a spoonful of food. This doesn't mean he doesn't want it. It just means I have to sit there and stare into space and offer it ten more times before he takes it. Then he'll wipe his mouth with the back of his hands and rub it all over his head. Then he throws everything on the floor, then he smacks the spoon out of my hand sending food flying everywhere. Then he screams and kicks the tray off the high chair. Then he uses his cracker to shovel food onto the floor. And I have to do this three times a day, every day. I FUCKING HATE IT.

According to the other moms it is normal for him to feast at breakfast (he can eat a waffle and two eggs with no problem) but only want a light snack for dinner - it's a struggle to get more than a few spoonfuls in him at night. I also do one last breast feed in the late afternoon which may be a part of it, but when I've tried cutting this feed he really seems to miss it and it makes my boobs really angry (and try sleeping all night on angry boobs - not fun).

So I've resigned myself to the fact that now is the hardest part when it comes to food - he's learning how to eat, so it's slow going. And he can't feed himself (not with utensils, anyway), so I have to do it, and it takes forever. Just keeping us both fed three times a day feels like it takes the entire day sometimes. Soon it won't be like this - soon he'll be able to feed himself and I can eat with him. But right now - it sucks. I had even reduced us to feeding him off my plate in the living room while he stood in his playpen; but it made such a horrendous mess that I stopped. My poor carpet!

Pretty much everything else is a battle, too. Putting on clothes. Taking off clothes. Putting on shoes and hats. Getting into the stroller or carseat. Going down for naps. Waking up from naps. Going to bed at night. Waking up in the morning. Getting in the playpen. Sometimes it feels like every action in our day involves screaming, back arching, whining, kicking, and tears.

He's lucky everything in between involves him being unbearably cute and lovable-! Can't wait for whatever phase this is to pass. Here he is being cute today.


  1. We are having a similar issues with my lack of being a morning person and their progressively earlier and earlier wake-up times. It's killing me, which is why I really need to get to bed now that I am done working for the night.

    I don't look forward to the mess you are dealing with around eating. Although Ashlynn tends to be covered head to almost toe when she is done, she actually likes being wiped clean (unlike her brother) and she and Aidan both are eager to eat - for now at least. Hang in there; you're right the stage will pass.

    He is a cutey and I agree that the cuteness and loveability is what somehow gets moms through the much less cute and loveable parts of parenting. And someday his will and perseverance will be a positive trait, right? (at least that's what I keep telling myself over and over and over...)

  2. It gets better. It really does.

    The throwing food on the floor is just par for the course - in a few months he'll be old enough for you to put him on the floor and make him pick up what he throws down. That's what broke Finn of (most) of his food throwing.

    It really sounds like he's done with you feeding him. Have you tried finger foods for him later in the day and letting him feed himself? All this current behavior is because he wants to do for himself, and yet for a lot of things he can't yet. The experts say one way to help is to offer choices - do you want A or B? That never works for Finn, though. LOL What does work is asking him to do something he CAN do to help. I am always surprised by what Finn can do.

  3. I've always been under the impression that you really don't have to do that three times a day unless you just really like the routine. Eventually mealtime comes together as they get older and figure it out. If its a struggle and he's still big on nursing, you could just do one or two tries, not full out meals, a day. And for one of those tries, give him soft chunks and just sit back prepared to clean the mess!

  4. I agree with Shannon on trying finger foods. Just don't do foods that require you to feed him.

    And I started making Calliope pick up food that she had thrown at about that age, because nothing else worked and it was making me batshit crazy. I thought she was too young, but it seemed to (eventually) solve the problem. It's annoying, though, to have to get her down from the highchair.

    Also, Calliope didn't eat a substantial dinner for a LONG time. i think they are just tuckered out at that age. so i would plan for a light dinner, plus nursing. does he nurse after dinner, before bed? that should top him off.

    i was always worried that C would wake up in the middle of the night, hungry, but it's only ever happened once. so i think this is just how kids that age are programmed.

    above all, make all of this easy on yourself! give him a pouch for dinner if you want, or cheese and crackers and raisins. sounds like he's eating great earlier in the day... it all balances out!.

    as for mornings, yeah, that's tough. my sympathies. you can try pushing the bedtime back and see if that helps. if not, i would do the earlier bedtime (if he wakes up at the same time, regardless) and just try to make peace with it.

  5. Also agree re getting him to feed himself. You soon get used to cleaning up the mess too, and its not so bad... takes a lot less time than feeding him, and will be less stressful for you both.

    Re the sleeping BB wakes at the same time no matter what. Also, be careful delaying his bed time as that could actually make him wake up earlier. If he doesn't get enough sleep he will have higher cortisol levels which means he will sleep for a shorter time... I'll try and find a link for that study...

  6. not to the study, but to a reputable organisation that say the same

  7. I also recommend trying finger foods. Felix definitely prefers feeding himself over being spoon fed. My favorite go-to recipe is pasta with veggies and creamy sauce. Just chop and cook veggies in a little broth until they're soft. In a blender, mix cottage cheese with a little milk and Parmesan cheese, then add to the veggies and serve over pasta. This freezes well and I've been sending it for lunch at Felix's daycare.

    Another idea is to cook an egg with whatever veggies you have on hand, plus a little cheese and Italian seasoning. Felix devours this for dinner.

    The eating does take forever (I let him go at his own pace) so we just bought a second high chair so he can have breakfast upstairs in the mornings, while I get ready for work. As for the mess, we have a dog. :)

  8. Not much to add, that's some great advice above. But wanted to say I use to hate meal time too but it does get better. I just wasn't prepared for the fact Elena had to LEARN to eat & got frustrated. It's all worth the cuteness tho!!

  9. I hear you about the mealtimes. They seem to take forever. But Jordyn's 8.5 months and already likes to feed herself finger foods. The problem is, the things she can "chew" are often too small and/or slimy/mushy for her to be able to pick up and get into her mouth (i.e. steamed veggies, bits of fruit). She does pretty well with cheerios and peas, though.

    I'm totally with you on the early mornings! Especially since I work late nights... I really want Jordyn to learn how to sleep in. She's been getting up earlier, too, ugh.

    Good luck with both issues!