Just got back from Babies R Us after an unsuccessful attempt at getting a new stroller. Much like buying a car, it was just too overwhelming. So many needs - must have a tray, cup holder, recline well, fold up well, easily steerable with one hand, be light weight but not flimsy, have five point harness, good storage undercarriage, have good shade, be able to grow with him, and also not be expensive (as in, over $100, but I've accepted that I'm going to have to get over that). No stroller meets all these criteria - in fact, being lightweight and compact tends to override being sturdy. My Mom Guru friend recommended her City Mini. Of all the strollers it does meet more of my criteria than any of the others. And it might just replace my giant jogging stroller for my silver lake walks which would free up my trunk for storage again, which would be great. However, it's a bit steep at $250. But he could really grow into it, unlike some of the cheaper lightweight strollers that he'd outgrow in a year and then we'd be right back here again. Here's another thing I now get - why women get so obsessive about strollers.
I've used my umbrella stroller in real life situations a few times now and I hate hate hate it. Yesterday I was trying to walk around the blinding LA city streets with a drink in one hand, and it just sucked - sun right in B's eyes while the stupid flimsy shade kept collapsing, nowhere to stow my purse or shopping bags, no cup holder and so I had to hold my drink which then meant trying to steer the stroller with one hand which was virtually impossible. And no tray for B to play with and put his poor dangling feet up on. So I may keep it for travel but it is otherwise useless to me.
So the last two mornings I've given B milk, bananas, strawberries and a waffle for breakfast. Today I am going to attempt lunch and dinner using real food. It's just a question of looking at my food and trying to figure out how to make it safe and appealing for a baby. It's tempting to just do dairy and carbs and fruit - but I know we have to get those veggies in there. It's a whole new way of looking at what I eat and how I shop. Almost like starting a new diet or something - kind of turns everything on its head.
Which brings me to my point. I had a thought the other day about the difference between people who do things the "normal" way and people who choose single parenthood. This may come across as whiny but I don't mean it that way; it's just an observation. I think people who meet someone, date for a while, maybe live together, then get married, then have a baby, are just a lot more prepared for the changes a baby brings. You've already learned to change your habits and compromise to live with another person. Your lifestyle is already being groomed to accept new people in your house and your life. In fact in most cases it's not your house and your stuff but our house and our stuff. Now me, I haven't had that several years of grooming - it was just one day I'm single and living the same single life I've lived for decades; the next I'm a mother. Literally overnight. Now of course I had nine months of pregnancy and several months of contemplating before that; but that's nothing compared to several years of living a family life, of sharing your life with one other person. The only situation I can think is similar to what we SMCs go through is when people have only dated a few months, get pregnant, and get married. Honestly that must be way more jarring. But then again that usually happens to young people who aren't set in their ways.
I guess this is just my way of saying I'm struggling a bit with letting go of some of my single chick behavior. For example I realized today that if we're going to have dinner together, a real family dinner, it means I can no longer comfortably eat dinner in front of the TV. We have to be in the kitchen, because I'm not letting the baby eat in the living room, no way. And I know it's nice to have family dinners where we just share time together and enjoy the food and don't have the TV mesmerizing us. But. I've eaten dinner in front of the TV every night for 20+ years. It's how I relax and unwind. It's what I do. Somehow not doing that anymore kind of makes me sad. I don't want to sit in the kitchen and stare at the wall. I know it's a small thing and like everything else I just need to get over it. But if there were a partner here it would be different - I'd make an effort to make real dinners with flowers on the table, etc. And when B is older I am looking forward to doing this, when we can have a conversation and I can ask him about school. But right now it just seems kind of meh.