Thursday, February 14, 2013

My funny valentine

So, single mothers of boys, don't take this the wrong way when I'm slightly creeped out when on this day you mention having a "date" with your son, or that he's your special little Valentine, or that you spent the day doing Valentine's- type stuff together. I know it's just cute and fun and as usual I'm the weirdo. It's not you, it's me.

But...I refuse to get in the spirit of today. Valentine's Day is for lovers, period. And as I am not having an adult sexual relationship at the moment, this day is as meaningless to me as your birthday. Nice for you, but not relevant to me. So I appear to be the only one on Facebook not posting cute cards and pictures of themselves and their kids doing crafts. I know some day, especially when B is in school, this will be different. I know like all parents today I'll be stuck making pink cupcakes and hand made Valentines for every teacher, student, janitor and administrator in the school lest my fellow parents accuse me of being a self-centered jerkoff. But until that day I say this "holiday" simply does not apply to me, a single woman. So there.

It's funny how I still feel inadequate on Valentine's Day even though I never, ever had a good one - like a fellow blogger I think I was actually in a relationship maybe once or twice on the actual day; and the one I remember was in my early twenties when I had to cajole my British boyfriend into taking me out to a crappy overpriced dinner, and he sat there the whole night complaining ("whinging" he'd call it) about how expensive and lousy it was and how much of a scam Valentine's Day is, just set up by Hallmark to make money on card sales, etc. And all of this was at least partially true. But is that the guy you're going to marry? Nope.

Personally my favorite Valentine's Day ritual is to watch Picnic At Hanging Rock, a bizarre 70s Australian movie about an actual disappearance of turn-of-the-century school girls on a St Valentine's Day picnic. It's a Peter Weir film so it's slow and moody and odd - and has spawned many catch phrases in our family; the main one being "she's quite intact", spoken by the examining doctor after one of the missing girls is recovered. Speaking of which - it's possible to get your virginity back even after having a baby, right? Because I think I've got something like that going on over here.

On that note, Happy Valentine's, everyone!


  1. My earliest memories of Valentine's Day include coming downstairs for breakfast and finding a card and piece of chocolate in my cereal bowl, from dad. And my mom making a heart-shaped cake that said "We love each other." So I've always grown up seeing it as a day to show love to everyone special in my life.

    At work, we make Valentine's Day boxes, trade cards and candy and have cookie bake-offs. It's just fun and special and everyone loves getting little notes from each other. Romance is actually the last thing on my mind.

    I only had a V-day date one year, ever. I spent all night getting ready while my girlfriends watched with jealousy. My boyfriend came to pick me up, drove around the block once while he broke up with me, then dropped me back off at home. He was spotted with another girl later at the movies that night.

    1. I like the idea of V-Day as a day to celebrate love of all kinds so nobody feels left out.

      That date story is brutal! Reminds me of the guy who dumped me and then the next night I saw at a special show I'd bought us tickets to - I used his ticket for a friend, and he was, of course, on a date. Bleh!

  2. I agree - V-day is for lovers. But it may be nice to someday make it special for Jordyn, too. This year, like the last several, I worked on V-day - until midnight, so it's not like I really had a chance to do anything special for/with Jordyn. But she did wear a cute V-day outfit and spent the day with my parents. But I hear you - V-day isn't really for parents and kids, I don't think.