It's a rare moment of me being awake while the baby sleeps so I thought I'd blog. The contractors are right outside my bedroom window using the circular saw and pressurized nail gun - but this does not seem to be bothering B at all. He's determined to get those ten hours of sleep! Our sleep has been all f'd up lately. Last night he was climbing the walls until nearly 1 AM; I kept trying everything I could to get him to relax and sleep but he just wasn't having it. You'd think he was the one who ate those three candy bars I got from my friend's baby shower right before bed! He has been up a lot at night and I have just been feeding him. I figure at a time like this with The Mole still looming and the ER visit still in recent memory, it's no time to be "tough" and try to make him sleep without comfort. Screw that. Ironically with him staying up later and sleeping later I am feeling more rested. I just feel better when I wake up after 9:30 or preferably 10 AM. Anything before 9 and I feel foggy all day, regardless of how much sleep I got. I guess old habits die hard.
So The Mole is holding steady. It's a constant torment keeping B from pulling off the bandage and picking at it, and changing them is almost impossible - you really do need two (or three!) people to hold down both arms, both legs, keep him from flipping over, hold his head in place, AND carefully place a band aid so it doesn't cover his eye or tack down his eyelashes and yet still covers the boo boo. Yet I've managed all this several times so I must be doing something right. I find doing it in the carseat is helpful because at least he's somewhat restrained.
We have a dermatology appointment tomorrow to remove the stitch and see what's what. I don't know why in my mind I think everything will be resolved tomorrow; I know it won't. There will no doubt just be a consult tomorrow, with subsequent appointments and hopefully procedures. I'm going to lose it if they decide to just let this mole hang out there - how do I know this thing isn't just going to start bleeding out of control again? And what if it happens when I'm not there, or far from home? What if it happens during my event? There's got to be something we can do to shrink/tie up/cauterize this thing so it's not in danger of bleeding anymore. Still can't get over how bizarre this all is. I knew I didn't like that mole when it appeared but I didn't know how much it would become my worst enemy!
Speaking of my event, over the moon with the results of my pricing experiment. The sign ups have stopped now (and probably won't start up again for a while) but I have enough in the bank to comfortably make it to mid-May or even June; if I get some big tax bill this will change of course but at least I won't have to borrow to pay it (I don't think). I feel as though a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. A week ago I had $500 to my name and $12,000 in debt. Now everything has changed (well, the debt is still there). I'm always surprised, and more than a little annoyed, by how the presence or absence of money has the ability to affect my sense of wellbeing so much.
Last night I did a much needed clean out of B's outgrown clothes. A friend recently gave me a huge box of boy clothes - and I have to say I'm easily covered for the next year. And her stuff is really good quality and cute (she has impeccable taste). So I have put aside nearly all his onesies and little sweat pants in the place of jeans and cute shirts. It's big boy clothes! It always cracks me up when I have him in a shirt, jacket, and pants instead of an all in one zip up baby outfit - he looks like such a little man. I am really behind a lot of my friends in the dressing baby cute department - as noted I'm pretty lazy and tend to dress him, and myself, in the same things over and over, mostly comfortable "slop clothes" as I call them; t shirt and sweat pants for him, jeans and t shirt for me. But I'm trying to make an effort to dress him up a little more as he grows. It's amazing to me that some of the remaining shower clothes I thought were SO huge are now his size!!! It's a real moment when you've come to the end of the shower clothes, isn't it?
I have kicked the contractor's butt to finish today. I have my cleaning lady coming at 1:30 to clean up the mess they have made over the past five weeks - the filthy floors, the filthy bathroom, the dust on everything. I hate to think of them still needing time after today and the cleaning being for nought; but I doubt they're going to finish today. I got the cleaner in today because my sister is coming to visit Thursday. So what we may have to do is just stop down work until next week. They still have to place the bed drawers, shelves next to the bed, shelves in the cabinets, doors on the cabinets, ac vent, make the skylight openable, and lay the carpet. Is this all going to happen in three hours? I think not.
I at last quit the Hall of Fame board! I called the Vice President and pleaded poverty (can't afford a sitter for the meetings - kind of true) and inability to do the work of Secretary which I never wanted to take on. Really after learning that so many of the winners weren't actually the winners (when I double checked the tabulation, I found most of the results were incorrect) I should have just resigned in protest then. Oh well. I can be kind of slow to react sometimes. But now I am free of that terrible burden, with no regrets. Instead I can focus on what matters - Bumpus, and my upcoming event. Yes!