STTN

Ok, I have some wonderful news – last night we “STTN”, or Slept Through the Night!  Or rather I should say Bumpus slept through the night.  I was up quite a bit for reasons I’ll describe later. But I would say he slept solidly from about midnight to nine AM, when he woke up for a little nurse and then went back down (he’s sleeping now). I don’t feel terribly rested – what ended up happening was after the dog started her run to the end of the bed and bark routine, I finally broke down and locked her in the office with her dog bed, food, and water. And I felt horribly guilty and so didn’t sleep well. But is it a coincidence that the first night the dog wasn’t in the bed was the first night Bumpus slept all night…? Maybe, but I think I’ll continue this dog-in-office thing. I probably should have done it all along, but I was afraid of pee-on-the-carpet reprisals. Since the carpet is being peed on anyway, I figured might as well fix our sleep time problems. And the dog is fine. Heck, maybe she even prefers it – when she’s not in bed with us, she’s not “on the job” and therefore doesn’t have to be alert and barking at every noise or shadow. Maybe in the office she can relax and sleep. Something to think about.

The idea of from now on sleeping all night – ahhhh!  It seems too wonderful to be true; although honestly I’m used to waking up a lot so I really don’t mind anymore. As I’ve said before, I’m getting far better sleep now than when I was pregnant, which was a nightmare of desperately wanting to sleep but my body not letting me, either from insomnia, heart burn, or general discomfort. Every time I think back on the pregnancy I remember another awful thing about it – the aches and pains, the swelling, the weird food issues, the guilt about weight gain or not working out or missing my yoga class again…and I wonder if it would be different a second time around. I mean, I don’t expect it to be different physically, but I wonder how it would feel to know what to expect from both the pregnancy and the labor, to not be blissfully ignorant. Would I be more scared, knowing what’s waiting for me (no doubt more pre-e and some f’d up birth experience)? Or would it feel better, knowing exactly what it’s going to feel like, emotionally and physically? Personally I prefer being prepared…and god knows it would be better to not have that deer in the headlights feeling, especially when presented with a new baby (the first diaper I ever changed was Bumpus’ when he was in the NICU – I had to ask the nurse how to do it). Much like the nausea, I can now know to expect it to (probably) only last a certain amount of time, just like the newborn phase before the baby really sees and connect with you. I understand about cluster feeds, growth spurts, and wonder weeks. I now know there are times your baby is inconsolable and it’s not your fault. In fact, unless you’re screwing up intentionally, your baby crying is never your fault, he’s just communicating. Knowing all these things from day one would be enormously helpful. Had I read any of my baby/parenting books before he was born I probably could have had a lot more guidance…but I chose to just figure it out as I went along. And hey, so far, so good. But if I could do the first baby over I would have read those books. I also would have assembled the bouncy seat, swing, and strollers before he was born, not as he’s screaming in my ear and I’m frantically trying to build something to soothe him with. One of these days I’m going to make a list of “I wish I had done x…” lists for you gals. I’m compiling one in my head now.

So now to go see if the nipper is still asleep. I think it’s time to take off his swaddle and let him kick around for a bit.