Just for your entertainment and mine I thought I’d put out a list of things that even with my utter lack of experience I know I can’t possibly stick to. Still I always get a kick out of reading those “if I knew then what I know now” mom lists about how naïve they were before having kids and how quickly reality settles in, so I thought I’d make one of my own. This will be fun to look back on in the coming months and years. So, pull up a chair, grab some popcorn, and laugh your ass off at me. I’ll be laughing right along with you, believe me.
I’ll make sure my kid puts all his toys away before bedtime.
On that note, I won’t allow my house to be overrun by toys.
My kid will have a consistent bedtime.
I will always read to my kid at bedtime.
I will never go to a drive through for fast food because I just can’t deal with cooking.
I will never raise my voice or swear around my kid.
I will never choose answering the phone over meeting my kid’s needs.
I will never make my kid eat something he hates, while simultaneously never caving to make him his own meal.
I will never watch inappropriate movies or TV shows if my kid is in earshot.
I will always understand that my kid’s concerns are important to him even though they seem silly to me, the adult.
I will not turn into my mother.
Ahhhh…a good laugh always feels great. In other news, NST went well today. I think the secret is eating closer to the appointment so the baby moves more and gets them the information they want, so I will do that from now on. Blood pressure, protein, weight, fluids, everything still normal. Always a relief.
And now just for the gross out factor I had some weird incident in the bathroom this morning. I’m not sure what happened exactly but let’s just say I got stuck sponging myself off and scrubbing my underwear and sweatpants off in the sink and realizing that I have seen my future, and it is full of poop. None of this was labor-related or a sign of sickness or anything; just a bizarre bathroom accident. The authorities said it was “best left unsolved”.
Ice water will also will wake the baby up. I am surprised they haven't suggested that actually.
ReplyDeleteYour list sounds pretty attainable & realistic to me. No, really, I mean it. :) It's a matter of sticking to it 90% of the time & not allowing the guilt to drown you the other 10%.
ReplyDeleteThe human body is a mysterious thing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have ideals... and forgive yourself when you don't always live up to them. Sounds like you have both these things under control.
38 weeks -- so exciting!!!