Since I am such a fan of lists, I thought now would be a good time for a little almost-eight months’ assessment of pregnancy thus far. There have been high points and low points. Unfortunately I think in the next two months I will be able to add a lot more low points. But for now, here they are for weeks 1-30:
Best (in no particular order):
Hearing/seeing/feeling the baby. For sure this is the coolest aspect of pregnancy. I can’t say it makes things “more real” since they are “unreal” to begin with, but listening to the heartbeat/feeling the movements/staring at ultrasound pictures (especially the super 4D pics) have provided me hours of entertainment and joy.
Friendships changing in a positive way. You never know when some life change will happen to draw people to you that were distant before, or bring a special connection that never existed before. It’s been fascinating to see the people who have come out of the woodwork to wish me well or express an interest in being an ongoing part of the baby’s life. As noted on this blog before, I always assume nobody gives a crap about anybody but themselves, but this whole experience has proven me wrong on this account many times.
Cute belly! I personally love watching my body change and enjoy dressing for my new belly. Although I’ve stressed about the weight because my health care practitioners have made me stress about it, I don’t look at myself and think “fat” or wish I “had my old body back” or any of that. I mean, I’m old, dammit. My body would pretty much be on a downward spiral from now on anyway. Who really cares about stretch marks and minor weight gain…? Ain’t nobody looking at my naked body any time soon! If I decide I want to be super skinny and fit after the baby’s here I know I can do that, with much effort. It’s just a choice I can either make or not make. For now I’m just enjoying watching nature do what it’s supposed to do.
Solving that problem of “what if I never have a kid?” Although as noted becoming a single mother by choice by far does not solve all your problems, it does solve one problem – the problem of not having a kid. Even at the best of times in the past this question always haunted me – how to “pull this off” in time, especially with the dating pool available to me pretty much akin to the cast of “Lockup: Raw”. So even though I’m sure single parenthood will be fraught with all sort of issues and concerns, at least this is one I never have to think about again.
Change. Part of me kind of hates change, and part of me loves it, too. Change is so necessary from even a brain function point of view – it’s important to always be learning new things and be made to do things in new ways so you don’t just shut down and go on auto pilot. I love that now my life will be constant change, because the kid will always be changing, and I will be challenged to learn about new things and have new experiences (whereas when you’re alone you tend to just do the same things over and over because it’s comfortable).
Worst (in no particular order):
Nausea. I think that’s all I need to say about that.
Fears. Having things to be legitimately afraid of because they are now in the realm of things that may happen to you – miscarriage, abnormalities with the baby, complications, illnesses, etc – sucks, especially when you’re anxious to begin with. It sure is an exciting new challenge to learn how to keep your anxiety under control, though, I’ll give it that.
Constant medical stuff. I hate having to go to the hospital this often and be poked and prodded so much. I feel like I frickin’ live there, and I’m having a normal pregnancy without issues. It will be great when we can both just go in for yearly checkups and that’s it.
Judgment/unsolicited advice. According to the gals on the WTE March 2012 board, I’ve had it pretty easy in this department so far, maybe because I’m the kind of person that just doesn’t invite intrusions in general (I still have that “get the f away from me” New York thing going on). But I have to admit when the fifth person e-mails you to tell you everything that’s wrong about your baby registry, even though they took time out of their day to try to be helpful, it does get kind of annoying. Plus I’m also a little fed up with all the weird agendas and political stuff that swirls around pregnancy/childbirth/baby care. Some of it I buy and some of it I flat out don’t. Still it seems like there’s never a time in your life when you’re more intruded upon than when you’re a parent (or about to be a parent) and I have to say I don’t like it one bit. Even as I say this I know once the baby’s here it’s only going to get worse. Sigh.
I think that about sums it up. Thus far, I have not had major hormonal issues (I mean, sure, I’ve had some emotional/irrational moments, but I had those before, so I can hardly blame them entirely on the pregnancy), no major physical issues (although we’ll see what happens with this whole GD thing), I feel good and positive, I don’t long for things to “get back to…” anything (although the day I can hang out in my hot tub again is going to be awesome), I don’t regret my decision, I don’t wish I were doing this with a partner (although ask me that in a few months…I’m sure there will come a time when I will wish like the dickens someone were here to take the baby so I can get a freakin’ break for five minutes). I don’t have “pregnancy brain” – I am perfectly capable of focusing on business or anything else I have to do (although looking at vintage crochet baby outfits on Etsy for hours would sure be a lot more fun than renewing a business tax license). I don’t know if all of these things will change in the next two months. They very well might. But my hope is despite probably getting a lot more uncomfortable/incapacitated towards the end that at least I still have my mind. That’s not too much to ask, is it?
Great list!!
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