Saturday, June 18, 2011

My What If List

First of all I would like to point out that I am NOT sitting around worrying about these things; I saw a fellow blogger made this list and I thought it would be interesting to explore my own fears/concerns (similar to the post I made about Pregnancy Fears but a little more in depth).  At the moment I am still on the high of yesterday’s BFP (and still can’t believe it, actually; woke up today convinced I had dreamed the whole thing and I was back to my non-pregnant, TTC life).  So I feel great and am NOT worried.  Quite a few of these concerns are very silly and tongue-in-cheek.  But I thought I’d post them here for fun:

Pregnancy What Ifs
What if I don’t stay pregnant?
What if the stress of my event kills the baby?
What if traveling kills the baby?
What if I have one of those pregnancies where I’m completely knocked out by nausea for months and can’t function?
What if the baby has health problems?
What if I have to get on bed rest?
What if the baby is premature and doesn’t make it?
What if there are complications and my health insurance doesn’t cover it and I’m stuck owing hundreds of thousands of dollars?
What if pregnancy totally ruins my body and there’s no recovering?
What if I turn into a fat frump and don’t care?
What if the hormones turn me into a psycho?
What if the hormones make me suicidal?
What if I have post-partum?
What if I can’t get a handle on my anxiety?
What if people say mean things about me and my situation and I lose long-standing friendships?
What if I get so wrapped up in pregnancy/parenthood that I let my business go to shit and I lose my only source of income?
What if pregnancy takes away my ability to focus and be effective?
What if it turns out I can’t carry a baby and nobody can figure out why?
What if I have to have a C-section?
What if I can’t get to the hospital in time?
What if all the people who offered to help/be there for me, don’t?

Parenting What Ifs
What if my kid doesn’t like me?
What if I don’t like my kid?
What if my kid is developmentally disabled?
What if my kid has health issues?
What if my kid is sweet when he/she’s little but then falls in with the wrong crowd and becomes a little delinquent?
What if my kid is mad I had him/her on my own?
What if my kid is mad he/she doesn’t have siblings, grandparents, or cousins?
What if my kid has no social skills?
What if my kid is butt ugly and is constantly teased at school?
What if my kid hates my cooking?
What if my kid is mad we don’t go to church?
What if my kid is mad I’m in a band?
What if my kid has crushing depression/anxiety?
What if my dog hates my kid and I have to give her away?
What if my kid doesn’t do well in school and doesn’t care?
What if my kid gets on drugs?
What if my kid is unmotivated and bored?
What if me and my kid just sit around and watch TV for hours despite my promise to myself that we’d get out and do stuff?
What if my kid is mad that we can’t afford anything?
What if my kid obsesses about and idolizes his/her “donor dad”?
What if I can’t find a decent middle/high school for my kid?
What if my kid is ashamed of me because I’m old?
What if we have nothing in common?
What if my kid rejects me?
What if my kid gets involved in a cult because I raised him/her with no belief system?
What if my kid moves to New York?
What if my kid thinks what I do for a living is stupid?
What if my kid is a disrespectful little a-hole?
What if everyone judges my parenting and says if only there were a man in the house my kid wouldn’t act like that?
What if people think me and my kid are unhealthily close?
What if I have a son and damage him for future relationships?
What if my daughter acts out with men because she had no father?
What if my kid can’t wait to get away from me?
What if my kid is mad at me because I have no relationship with my parents?
What if my kid doesn’t like The Beatles?
What if a bunch of creepy men want to date me because I have a kid now and they figure this “knocks me down a peg”?
What if I never get over my envy of my married friends?
What if I lose the house and we have to move into a crappy apartment?
What if I lose the business and I have to get a full time job and never see my kid again?
What if I wish I’d never done this?


3 comments:

  1. Hmm I had a list of things that I was freaking about after the hormones were playing mind games with me. I am happy to say that I never once got stuck in a chair, couch and bed. I still love my dog and he is gentle with the baby. I had a c section and my friends stepped up. I was in three fender benders only one was my fault and Foxie just had his first trip to the beach. While I don't know what the future holds, I can say most of our fears never appear. I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy.

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  2. What if he/she picks a college too close by/too far away from home? What if you don't like his/her spouse? This is a fun game! Thanks for letting me play!

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  3. Reading your post reminded me of a verse from a poem I once read which simply states:

    "For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
    The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’
    Ah, well! for us all some sweet hope lies
    Deeply buried from human eyes;
    And, in the hereafter, angels may
    Roll the stone from its grave away!”
    -John Greenleaf Whittier

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