By the power of Grey Skull!

So when I started thinking about having a baby I of course pictured myself with a daughter.  I think most women want a girl, because it’s relatable – we know how girls think, what they need, what they want.  And we get to relive some of our girlhood through our daughters.  It was also very important to me that as a tribute to my aunt I would love to name the girl after my aunt, and also that the girl could play with my toys, in particular the beautiful cloth dolls my aunt made me, and the dollhouse my grandfather made me.  I pictured my daughter reading the Little House books like I did, playing with my sister’s 1960s Malibu Barbie and Malibu Ken with the stick-on sideburns.  I imagined braiding her hair and buying her a parakeet that would live in my childhood parakeet’s art deco cage.  But then I started thinking about a boy.

When I was at the Boston Ballet as a little girl I remember I was really good at right turns but not left ones.  My teacher, Mrs. Ruff (who was fond of saying things like, “Just do!” when we asked how to do something), suggested I work on my left turns.  So I did.  And I did.  And the next thing I knew, I was great at left turns.  And then I couldn’t do right turns.  So now all I can think about is having a son.

I picture my teenaged son, all tall and gangly and red headed and with bad skin and headphones (or whatever the going device is in 2027) saying, “Mom!  You’re embarrassing me!”  I picture going to the beach with my son and body surfing with him (I used to do this at the beaches in Rio and it was always just me with all the little boys – we’d give each other thumbs up when a really good wave was coming; it was awesome); I picture my son playing my guitar and beaming with pride; I picture my five year old running around and smashing everything in sight yelling, “By the power of Grey Skull!!!”  But mostly I picture my boy cousins.  I think of what fine men they’ve grown into, and how much they loved their mom.  They both told me after she died, “I just lost my best friend.”  The love of a son for his mother is profound and unshakable.  And call me selfish, but I want to be the recipient of that love.

The odds are that the mechanics of artificial insemination often result in more boys than girls, because of the point of ovulation you have to hit for it to even work.  So most likely I will have a boy, who I will name Robert after my grandfather.  Don’t get me wrong, I would be thrilled with a girl, too.  Both would make me very happy, and honestly I’d like one of each, although sometimes I think that’s “pushing it”.  But for as much as I bash men on this site, I’d like to give a little shout out to the boys of the world.